I have a dry, sarcastic sense of humor. In the past, too many people have taken what I say literally. For instance, my neighbor says that she can tell when I’m mad. I climb up on the roof and set my hair on fire. That statement upset someone so much it took forever to convince her that was a joke.

If I say something bizarre, please ask me before you worry. If I’m really mad, I can and probably will verbally anhilalate the subject of my anger. It’s the only time I’ll use those pretentious, 4 syllable words.

Remember when Michael Douglas said, “Greed is good?” It’s greed that will bring this Country to her knees. Everytime I turn around someone is going to make me rich and famous. I rode all the way in on the turnip truck. (I’m teaching you Southern coloclialism.) Get in line. I’m writing a check to the Crystal Cathedral first.

If you have any questions, please ask.

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